Tuesday, July 11, 2006
5:23 AM
I found myself crying on my way home last Saturday.
It was another dubbing day, and I was excited, just the same with all the other dubbing days. I was really looking forward to getting to see my friends, and of course, I was excited at the prospect of playing another role (however minor) again.
I did get a pretty major role, but for some reason, I couldn't get the
acting, so-called, right. I was performing poorly technical-wise. As a result, I got a major bashing from the director. I guess that was the 1st time I really got grilled and trash-talked like that, I was taken aback.
Some people perform well under hostile criticism, but I guess I don't.
I break.
I crumble.
I tried to be nonchalant about it the entire time, but I just couldn't remove the heaviness in my heart.
It's reassuring to know that even the ace dubbers went through this torment. It keeps their feet planted firmly on the ground.
I wish our last official dubbing day (as completion of the workshop's project) will yield greater results. There's always so much that a person can take, and I guess mine's not that much. I can stretch my patience to insane limits, but please don't step all over me.
We'll be having an exchange gift, to serve as parting gifts and mementoes of our dubbing group's bonding moments, etc.
I know I have to be stronger. I don't want to kiss ass or suck up to someone just to earn what I deserve.
I hope people learn to balance affirmation and negation more wisely.
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