Tuesday, August 29, 2006
9:31 PM
I haven't posted a really detailed entry in a rather long time.
But in an attempt to sum it all up, I'm in a floating kind of status.
Career-wise, I'm not as happy and fulfilled as I hope I would be. There are some days when I go home feeling accomplished, but there are some days, like today, wherein I feel totally useless. Most of the time I feel I can't measure up to their expectations, and that I'm not such a fast learner that I thought I was.
But there are some days wherein I do feel appreciated, and wherein I feel I get recognized for my hardwork and patience.
I just hate the whole going through the same motions, the routine-like nature of work. But I do know that once I get the hang of it, it'll be more dynamic than I can handle, and I'll yearn for the monotony once again.
I do know that great things are in store for me if I continue to pursue this kind of career, but I keep thinking of how passionate I am about the arts - the performing arts, that is. I'm no thespian, but I have dabbled in theater before. Like,
way before. High school days. Not like I didn't want to join the theater organizations, but the logistical problems overwhelmed whatever interest I had to join in the first place.
You won't be able to take singing away from me, because it's something I have been very involved with. But, the same problem arose during college. But I am proud that I was an active member of chorales and I was vocalist for my barkada's band back in high school.
But now the only places where I sing my lungs out (okay, that was a slight exaggeration) are the bathroom and the videoke lounges. Haha.. I miss getting to perform in front of audiences and hearing their appreciative applause.
Okay, that was a pretty long digression. Back to the topic of the present.
Lately, I've been having money problems because of a debt I have, and because I've been indulging in weekly movies and clothes.. But I'm overall still the cheapskate I've always been. I feel this strong need to gratify myself via materialism to distract myself from the work issues.
Speaking of materialism, I suddenly have this impulsive desire to buy a CANON 350D. I guess I'm beginning to get envious of my two friends Tiff and Iking who have the same digital SLRs. I'm in this internal tug-of-war over investing in something I really want, and in buying stuff for now that I really need. I know I should go for the latter, but my gut feel's pointing in the other direction.
Other than that, I've been preoccupying myself by watching the English subtitled, Japanese dubbed anime series, namely Naruto and Bleach. Fine, Naruto's an old series already and I'm only beginning to appreciate the series' creativity now. :)
Every now and then, I get together with my friends from the dubbing workshop I participated in the past summer. This past Sunday, the dubbing director held a party at his place, and we dubbing workshop graduates were invited. Although I wasn't able to come, I learned that some of us will be absorbed, and we might work on another project together again. I'm so excited! I hope I'm one of the ones to be absorbed. I miss dubbing. It takes thick skin to be a dubber, but I know that I'll eventually be able to cope with the criticism. Right now, I'm actually watching the anime series we dubbed for Hero Channel, Cinderella Boy. I keep hoping to hear my voice, but I don't think I will until a few more episodes. :)
Well, this is it for now. I guess this is a pretty concise post already about what I've been up to lately.
The next few posts hopefully won't be as dramatic. :)
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